Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Divorce, Ensign, May 2007, 71. WebOn their own initiative, some couples separated or divorced as a result of the Manifesto; other husbands stopped cohabiting with all but one of their wives but continued to provide financial and emotional support to all dependents. . How do I forgive them? Joseph Perkins, Will Same-Sex Marriage Lead to Legalized Polygamy, Christian Post, October 8, 2011, accessed October 8, 2011, http://www.christianpost.com/news/will-same-sex-marriage-lead-to-legalized-polygamy-57640/. PBS 28. 27. Divorced men are welcome in the Church in the same manner as married men. However, Elder Oaks says, through "the blessings of the Lord, she did recover and she was stronger than ever"(Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "LDS Leaders and Mental Illness," Mormon Channel). I am not sure that those that faithfully practiced it many years ago would be with that conclusiondo you? They interpret this lack of information as a species of lyingabout Joseph Smith, about other Church members polygamous past, or about the events which surrounded the cessation of Church-sanctioned plural marriage. I would think not.60, Not surprisingly, the ambivalence among even active, faithful Latter-day Saints regarding plural marriage continues. During a conversation regarding Mormon history, I mentioned in passing that Joseph Smith had plural wives. All but one of the contributing authors can speak from personal experience about divorce. 55. 10. And modern Bible translations NIV, ESV, and CSB do not translate Malachi 2:16 as God saying I hate divorce. What percent of marriages end in divorce? Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. The Salt Lake Tribune reviewed the party affiliation of all 15 apostles for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints including the three-member First Not, Flunking Sainthood, July 5, 2011, accessed August 11, 2011, http://blog.beliefnet.com/flunkingsainthood/2011/07/my-polygamous-heaven-not.html. 12 apostles during Old Testament times Don't let discomfort prevent you from providing support that may be needed. That would be incorrect, divorced men can be bishops. This shaken feeling can leave a divorced man uncomfortable with Church attendance, especially if he believes that others are assuming he has been unfaithful to his wife. Melissa Crabtree, Modern Mormon Misconceptions Linger, CBS 42, Birmingham, Alabama, September 26, 2011, accessed September 28, 2011, http://www.cbs42.com/content/localnews/story/Modern-Mormon-Misconceptions-Linger/9N3Lxvw0AUS0USwYKsQHig.cspx or http://www.clipsyndicate.com/video/play/2879871/modern_mormon_misconceptions_linger, accessed April 10, 2014. But, on the other hand, the Church and its members will never be able to divorce themselves from historical plural marriage. All of us know someone who has been divorced. People need all the love and support they can get as they weather a divorce., In a message to divorced members, Dr. Swinton continues, If you have experienced divorce, don't beat yourself up or feel you are lesser in any way. One convert, who joined at age 24, wasnt told about the Churchs polygamist past until after he was baptized. If you are divorced, here are some ways to stay close to your children and strong in the gospel. Of course, the teachings should be simple and matter-of-fact information such as mentioning in passing that early Church leaders like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, as well as other early members of the Church, were commanded by God to have more than one wife. Pauline Christians can continue to have faith in a celibate savior who is divorced from his family, his people and his times. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 11, 2011. A new take on the parable of the lost sheep may change how you see yourself in the church, How a perfect cherry cheese pie led to food-world fame, 6 temple dresses + accessories Latter-day Saint women will love, Other: 18% (This included: Anger, Apostasy, Sexual Abuse, Health [sick/disabled partner or child], Criminal Activity, In-Law Interference, and Homosexuality. 58. Furthermore, if she had been learning about the Churchs polygamous history in the youth Sunday School programs, she would have had a better foundation on which to stand. Elders Bednar, Cook + 3 Other Apostles Whose Family Children are most likely to adjust successfully to parental divorce when their mother and father are willing to put the happiness and stability of children ahead of their own hurt feelings. Death, war, financial insecurity, divorce, Church inactivity, there are many circumstances that can shake a family to its core and try each family member's testimony. Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? Your previous content has been restored. But one or two of the current apostles have remarried after becoming widowed.. wow I really like that.. i had no idea that you couldnt be bishop if you were divorced or unmarried. E-mail correspondence, August 11, 2011. Commitment to the Covenant: LDS Marriage and Divorce .I apologize. One faithful Latter-day Saint wrote of his in-laws learning of Joseph Smiths polyandry, My [Page 63]mother-in-laws eyes bulged out.44 One woman who found out about Smiths polyandrous marriages, combined with other issues regarding Joseph Smith and Mormonism, declared she was done, done and DONE!! A few reasons suggest themselves: first, while 19th-century polygamy happened, it is, after all, in the past. As one woman noted, speaking of her Latter-day Saint friends, [I had] great support from my friends, who were divorced as well.. Dr. Swinton says, Love them. Lets dive into the New Testament and see what we can learn about the efforts of the original apostles to maintain a full quorum. Let's try this: the First Presidency must approve of all people who are called as Bishop. 2. By the time he was 22 years old, Elder Scott had not really considered serving a mission, until he metJeanene Watkins. ? on the 12 apostles - LDS Gospel Discussion - ThirdHour 47. The reasons for a divorce were many and varied. After personal reflection and prayer, Elder Scott felt impressed that he should serve a mission and was called to serve inUruguay from 1950 to 1953. If only married LDS Brian C. Hales, on the other hand, in an excellent essay, Joseph Smith and the Puzzlement of Polyandry, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 99151, offers a compelling argument for the proposition that Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages were non-sexual and were eternity only sealings. This is true even if your parents temple sealing to each other is canceled. Before his 13th birthday, Elder Baxter was baptized and received the Aaronic priesthood. Most couples tried going to counseling to support orsave their marriage, but perhaps not to the degree we would expect: Note: The definition of what qualified as counseling support is unique for those surveyed and, in the course of the survey, seemed to be open to interpretation. However, the couple experienced tragedy about five years after their marriage. Then I will get a temple sealing. FHE Object Lesson: Treasure Transformation, Remembering President Boyd K. Packer (19242015). The LDS believe: After the deaths of the Savior and His Apostles, men corrupted the principles of the gospel and made unauthorized changes in Church organization and priesthood ordinances. There was not, unfortunately, a good representation of race and ethnicity: almost all of the respondents were Caucasian, with just a few identifying themselves as Hispanic or Asian/Pacific Islander.33 Respondents lived all over the United States as well as in Canada and several other countries. I commuted between Provo and Salt Lake City and enjoyed visiting with other regular commuters, [Page 62]all of whom were active members of the Church. ?58, The discussion by e-mail continued back and forth between those who believed that plural marriage was a celestial principle and those who either did not believe or at least questioned whether it was indeed something that would be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom. [Page 47]This essay will examine the uncomfortable relationship between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its polygamous past and the effect this discomfort has had on its members. Thats just how it is.62. Raised on Essentials in Church History and similar volumes and never hearing of Joseph Smiths own plural relationships in general conferences or in other official publications, the new public memory began to take root.22. We then have a duty to root out these cultural misinterpretations from our midst, lest they cause great spiritual mischief.55, Echoing the thought that belief in plural marriage as an eternal principle should be rooted out among Latter-day Saints were several faithful Latter-day Saints who actively discuss Church doctrine and history. Together, they made the harrowing journey past Russian guards patrolling the border to West Germany until they were safely reunited with the rest of President Uchtdorf's family. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was just 4 years old the first time his family fled their home, leaving everything behind. Jesus' Marriage to Mary the Magdalene Is Fact Here is some of their best advice: You'll also like: 10 Things Latter-day Saint Singles Wish You Knew, You'll also like:6 Things Every Latter-day Saint with Divorced Parents Should Understand. Many are confronted with these issues regarding plural marriage without a firm understanding of the LDS Churchs polygamous past. They make up most of the adult LDS membership. So why do Conference Poster: The Generosity and Mercy of God, If my parents were sealed in the temple and then got divorced, which one am I sealed to? New Era, August 2015, 41. Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced member has committed serious transgressions, he or she can become eligible for a temple recommend under the same worthiness standards that apply to other members.3, Some men say that although they would never want to go through such an experience again, they have learned from it. Yes, she responded, relieved that I had understood at last. 38. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintss uncomfortable relationship with its polygamous history is somewhat like an awkward marriage separation. Again, in 1952, President Uchtdorf's father opposed the communist East Germany, and it was no longer safe for his family to remain at their home in Zwickau. Unfortunately, such an outcome is not the case for Latter-day Saints and their polygamous history. When there are problems in different places around the world over difficult subjects like plural marriage, such as the recent apostasy problems in Sweden, leadership could then place even more emphasis on the education of its members in those specific places. One divorcee noted, Friends outside church did not treat me like a sinner for getting a divorce. Church policy, however, does have a preference to married men as bishops. Because of this widespread apostasy, the Lord withdrew the authority of the priesthood from the earth. Meet the Apostles. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. WebExcommunication in Mormonism. Eternal plural marriage would be in the future, and, for some Latter-day Saint women, that makes it a very dark future. A whole lesson about Doctrine and Covenants 132 and not one mention of plural marriage? 62. Another active Latter-day Saint responded: Are you suggesting that what is making you pleased is the denial of relationships in the Celestial Kingdom? Most of them have never been members. Feelings About Plural Marriage. In contrast to the perception the Church and its leaders try to hide the Churchs past, one respondent wrote that he had previously had problems with polygamy until a general authority visited his mission and, during a question and answer period, explained the background of plural marriage. Regular interaction with your children should remain a high priority, regardless of distance or remarriage. In all my life I've never known of a Bishop who had been divorced. It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. When people learn gospel principles as children, they are able to grow in their understanding as they learn line upon line, precept upon precept.64 It should be the same regarding the Churchs history of plural marriage. [Have] concern for my children, especially Young Men and priesthood leaders. Heres how a new speaker series can help you find it: Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Third Hour Forum Rules - Please be familiar with these rules before posting. This non-Mormon perception of Latter-day Saints is more prevalent than many members of the Church realize. They are in violation of the civil law. 66. For Latter-day Saints, families are not only the fundamental unit of society but also of the Church. Michael Brissenden, The Mormon Moment, ABC.net, October 18, 2011, accessed October 19, 2011, http://www.abc.net.au/foreign/content/2011/s3342583.htm. It is also important to differentiate a man who was divorced and remarried before he became a Christian from a man who was divorced and remarried after becoming a Christian. WebIn their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick This brings up another matter that needs to be addressed: missionaries at Church historical sites must be taught how to discuss the topic of Mormon polygamy because it is inevitable it will be brought up by curious visitors. ), 63% continued going to church in the same ward, 16% continued going but went to a new ward, Many ward members avoided me like the plague because they simply didn't know what to say to me. For Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. His mother also remarried and was sealed in the London England Temple. While there were a variety of ways people first learned about plural marriage, about 42% of respondents said they learned from their family.35. For examples of people who chose to secretly practice plural marriage while still members of the LDS Church, see Craig L. Foster, The Persistence of Plural Marriage Within Mainstream Mormonism: The Example of the Barr and Mary Musser Family, in Scattering of the Saints: Schism Within Mormonism, eds. Second, celestial polygamy seems to evince a degree of sexism in the Church and even Gods eternal plan. He was not the actual bishop but was in the bishopric. Tertullian, Hilary, Epiphanius, Jerome, &c. The authority of these later Fathers is of course of little account. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, February 17, 2012. My girls did not want to go because of the way the adult sisters treated them.. No matter how hard the LDS Church may try to cut ties to its polygamous past, the two are irrevocably and inseparably tied to each other. What can Latter-day Saints do to be more supportive of divorced members? That healing power and that hope are there for them and also for their children.. Steve Chapman, Kody Brown and His Four Wives, townhall.com, July 14, 2011, accessed July 14, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, and Brent Bozell, TLCs Lobbying Show, townhall.com, July 15, 2011, accessed July 15, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/brentbozell/2011/07/15/tlcs_lobbying_show/page/full/. Unfortunately, she was not alone in being shocked to learn Joseph Smith had plural wives. For this reason, they think that the unmarried would include both the widowed, the divorced and those who have never been married. The ultimate purpose of all we teach is to unite parents and children in faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage.1 In spite of this inspired teaching from President BoydK. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, divorces take place. A man may remarry after the death of his wife and not be disqualified from these callings. Indeed, some even try to dress like 19th-century Mormons, except in neo-pioneer style pastel dresses topped off with a bizarre hairstyle. No we didn't see President Hinckley remarry. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 7, 2012. But unfortunately, this would not be the last time President Uchtdorf's family would have to leave behind everything. Even so, 12 other countries were represented, most from European countries.34, Over 47% of survey respondents heard about polygamy as a child while another 39% heard about it as teenagers, for a total of over 86% learning about plural marriage while in their childhood or youth. 53. Before Elder Dallin H. Oaks was 8 years old, his father passed away from tuberculosis, leaving his mother, Stella H. Oaks, to care for three children on her own. In December 2013, the LDS Church published an essay titled, Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah, accessed January 20, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng. Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy. For the actual presentation, see http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy. For some of our youth, the shock is too traumatic for their tender testimonies. Mormon fundamentalism seems to be ever-present, even invading television on shows such as the now-ended HBO series Big Love, which one television critic described as understanding local culture, our idiosyncrasies, and, in fact, the whole Mormon thing.11 While some people would contest this description, the television show did, nevertheless, have an impact and likely encouraged the reality show Sister Wives as well as other copycat reality fare gracing the cable channels. would have helped., [It] would be nice if [others] had some idea of how devastating divorce is and could have helped me get through the grieving process. He works as a Mental Health Clinician for Ktunaxa/Kinbasket Child & Family Services, and as needed for LDS Family Services in the East Kootenay's. By addressing difficult aspects of Church history like plural marriage in their childhood and youth, eventually an understanding of the historical practice of plural marriages would be commonplace among active adult members of the Church. No they can't. Its in the handbook. I don't know if divorced men can be branch presidents though.applepansy If you worry that being supportive somehow condones something you don't approve of, remember that showing love does not mean you are condoning something. (Photo courtesy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) Apostle Ronald A. Rasband speaks at General Conference on Easter Sunday, April 4, 2021. Just do your best. Top Mormon leaders mostly Republican; two switch to unaffiliated If the Lord chooses a divorced man to be bishop, that man will be bishop. Relationships are really difficult. Luckily, President Uchtdorf's mother was able to locate the train and her children in the large train station. Elder Cook also served a mission from 1960 to 1962, serving in the British Mission with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland as one of his companions. ok now i am confused can you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced does it matter if you remarried, has there been any of the twelve apostles that have been divorced or could you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced i want to make sure i am not misrepresenting the LDS position. Our Father in Heaven loves His children. Bill Frost, Idaho Bans Ogdens Five Wives Vodka, City Weekly, May 29, 2013, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html. Relationships are really difficult. The following article originally ran on LDS Living in May 2016. Furthermore, the Church must accept that there will always be coat-tail relatives to remind its members of their past. Whether or not the particular suggestions in this essay are adopted, the goal of leaders and defenders of the Church should be to aim for a more knowledgeable membership who thereby exhibit less discomfort and embarrassment about the Churchs past relationship to plural marriage. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. Quite often, in spite of divorce, extended family members remain connected because of a common interest, such as children. . I worry that discomfort with the situation unnecessarily impacts many from engaging in providing needed support.. Lawsuit alleging sex abuse, cover up filed against family For example, a number of years ago I showed some important guests around the Family History Library and then the neighboring Museum of Church History and Art, both in Salt Lake City. When children spend most of their time with their mother, it is easy for the father to feel like he has become a visitor to his own children. One of the members of a private e-mail group of faithful Latter-day Saints wrote, EVERYTHING that Correlation has produced, since its inception, indicates the Church is running away from polygamy as fast as it can.41, For many active and disaffected members of the Church, certain aspects of Joseph Smiths polygamy have been difficult to understand or accept. (That doesn't mean the policy doesn't exist, but that I've never seen it). And when he was 15 years old, Elder Cook experienced something that would draw from both lessons. 65. List of former or dissident Mormons - Wikipedia [Page 72]If missionaries, as well as other members of the Church, are given more information to gain a better understanding and firmer foundation regarding the history and doctrine of plural marriage, they might not be so uncomfortable discussing it with non-Mormons. However, unless there is potential for abuse or other harmful interaction, children do best when they maintain relationships with both parents. I remember a fifth or sixth grade classmate who came to my central California elementary school and said, Youre a Mormon, right? I answered in the affirmative, and he then announced, My father says Mormons can have more than one wife. ok if you have any links or info that i can show this person i would like to see them and thanks for confirming what i thought Jeffs, in a way, is practicing what Joseph practiced. Of his parents, Elder Cook would later say they "loved the Savior. 42. Nevertheless, it remains a problem that is extremely difficult for some members to reconcile and even some of the most faithful Latter-day Saints remain troubled by it. It is human nature, explained one Mormon blogger, to choose aspects of our past that we feel define us. John C. Bennett, The History of the Saints; or, an Expos of Joe Smith and Mormonism (Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842). Some people counted seeing their bishop as counseling support and never saw a professional. Give me messages about strength and faith; help build my testimony., Have activities where all can be involved, regardless of marital status., Comments in classes should always also cover how the topic is relevant to those who are not in the ideal family situation.. There is gospel wisdom in Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way they should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. This gospel principle certainly includes learning about Church history and doctrine. However, it is obvious more needs to be done to answer the questions and concerns of members of all ages. Church Policies and Guidelines Recognizing their interest in history, I decided to arrange a tour of the Beehive House to accompany the usual tour of Temple Square. To [Page 65]be fair, in the RS lesson this declaration evoked criticism and debate of a kind not often seen in RS.51. [They] could have helped me realize that there is more to being a member of the Church [than] being in a traditional families are forever kind of family., [Acknowledge] me as a person. In contrast, Craig L. Foster, David Keller, and Gregory L. Smith use both history and a statistical review of Mormon and non-Mormon marriage practices in Illinois and neighboring Iowa to demonstrate that marriage to teenage women was not uncommon for the place and time in which Joseph Smith lived, nor was it considered pedophilia: The Age of Joseph Smiths Plural Wives in Social and Demographic Context, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 15283. Joseph Smith married other mens wives while they were still married to their husbands, Mormon Think, accessed October 12, 2011, http://mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#other. It was a journey that almost ended in disaster. Interpretation 2 seems to be the strongest, primarily because Scripture allows for divorce in exceptional circumstances (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:1216). Elder Baxter says his mother was "happy, content, and fulfilled until overtaken by mortality" during her marriage for nearly 25 years until she passed away. Bill Redeker, Beer Maker Finds Polygamy Ads Sell, Good Morning America, February 8, 2011, accessed February 10, 2011, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1. Outside of the Church, there is a disturbing trend in the devaluation of the family. Ultimately, the hope for Saints who struggle emotionally and spiritually with plural marriage is that a better understanding of the history [Page 76]and doctrine of plural marriage will encourage greater faith and bring solace to the soul. I need you home to baptize me.". Copy in authors possession. 26. The children in that marriage joined the lawsuit and allege their stepfather abused them.