This is my new idea. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Joe Rogan with Ron White on Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia & Stealing Jokes From Comedians! Whats he doing? This befuddled me. Great big old, big old, big uns. Sean L. McCarthy works the comedy beat for his own digital newspaper,The Comics Comic; before that, for actual newspapers. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Ron White has his unique way to bring his jokes, with his heavy voice abused from years of cigars and alcohol he gets your immediate attention. By creating an account, you agree to the Well, whatever it is, I wouldnt worry about it if I were you. I dont sleep very well. White, meanwhile, has survived both divorce and divorce lawyers, and has put a lot of thought into drunk-driving checkpoints, the handsomeness of Chris Hemsworth, and the radical terrorist Canadian geese.. Were just gonna have lunch. Jesus. Fuck that. 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Just lunch. Now, I wont drive drunk, but I will ride with somebody that cant blow a .08 and not fucking know it. Im going to do it, cause Im surprised they know it, but I support the Montreal Comedy Festival, and if you ever have a chance to go to Montreal in the summer to go to the festival, its the coolest fucking thing there is. Maybe a salad and a sandwich. And he had bunk beds in his room, and Joe Paines on the top bed, Danny Davis is on the lower bed, and Im on a sleeping bag on the floor, and I wet the fucking bed, and Im, like, mortified. Well, I got stationed at Pearl Harbor. Id give you half my shit right now, but I dont make up the rules.. Reunited as adults, two childhood friends fall madly in love and won't let anything not even death tear them apart, in this supernatural love story. But let me tell you something, folks. that does it for me tonight, thanks for spending part of your saturday with us. Dont drink and drive. And theres never anybody there. Viagra. And every year SiriusXM does a live broadcast from there. And before the thing started, I had my tour bus up there, Jeff and I are sitting on my tour bus and this Golden Corral commercial comes on television, which is where Jeff works now. I said, Let me go talk to her, so I go up to the room. Heres what I get at three oclock in the morning when I have a six oclock flight: [whispering] Ron. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles. So unhappy, theyre willing to bleach it until it becomes a more desirable color. I keep a salt shaker by the side of the bed. My friend told me the other day that he wouldnt give his wife head unless she just came out of the shower, and I told him Ill give my wife head if she just came out of the gym. Cause .08s not drunk. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Not plump girls, not fat girls. Terms and Policies I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, Ill send somebody over from Maintenance, Im like Knock on the door, its a chick from Maintenance. Nonbinary 'Yellowjackets' Star Liv Hewson Is Sitting out of Emmy Season Over Gendered Categories, 'Yellowjackets' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Digging the Antler Queen, Drew Barrymore Admits She's "Not Sure" She's "Drawn to the Manscaper" on 'The Drew Barrymore Show': "I Love Funk", Drew Barrymore Opens up About Up Close and Personal Interview Style: "I Feel This Magnetic Pull", Why Isn't 'The Drew Barrymore Show' on Today? 7,786, This story has been shared 5,838 times. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Fully-functioning organs are not necessary to watch Ron Whites new special, If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im like, Theyre gonna know. Youre still going to hop in that motherfucker. Hes lucky I dont know where hes buried. I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. What Time Does 'Yellowjackets' Season 2, Episode 6 Air On Showtime? These are two broke fucking fingers. Like, What? Yeah! You cant fix stupid. In this hour, White regales his audience with anecdotes about a young fan approaching him at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, about how he lost his virginity at 18 over and over again to prostitutes, his offbeat presidential ambitions, and even how he tried to overcome his anxiety with bedwetting as a child. 1,802, This story has been shared 1,410 times. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity rating: 12 | 1h 3m | Stand-up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I would have missed the boat if I was in the porno business right there. Is 'Are You There God? You know why? And if youd like to buy the bicycle, just go to my house in Beverly Hills, and its 400 yards from there. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. Get married, dont get married. Theyre going to fucking know. Te gust Big Jay Oakerson: DOG BELLY ?, descubre pelculas del mismo gnero y temticas, pelculas como Dave Chappelle: 8:46, Mike Epps: Indiana Mike, Kyle Kinane: Trampoline In A Ditch, Rose Matafeo: Horndog, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up,. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. I dont know. Get some Brylcreem and some dippity-do and a hair dryer. You ever seen a dead goose anywhere in your goddamn life? A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. And Danny wakes up and he goes, I had a dream. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from the other three stand-up comedians as the odd man in. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. Thats what they say. [whispering] Charming. Quit trimming it for a year. White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I can put my car in drive and roll over your ass. Ron, wake up. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker. Or thats what it said in the deposition. And I still eat tacos, but now I only eat the baby duck pussy lip tacos that you get at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on Sunday. He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. Its a nickel for a hundred of em. Those were dudes? I got like 20 tweets from one guy, going, My wifes pussy was burning like No, you didnt. What kind of balls does it take to put the word corral on the name of your fucking restaurant? Boy, do they know that demographic! Not because they try to say something funny. Cause were scared to fucking death of geese. Im not, and Ill tell you why. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. He didnt say that. [sobbing] I had nightmares about it my entire goddamn childhood. And now when I approach a toilet, and the lid doesnt automatically open, I just piss all over the top of it. Legendary comedian and podcaster Marc Maron stars in his first-ever HBO comedy special filmed in front of a live audience at New York Citys Town Hall. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018| Maturity Rating:TV-MA | 1h 3m| Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. CatherineBridget86886758. Ill give you a second to get your arms around that. Let me show you some skills. As Egypt's last pharaoh, Cleopatra fights to protect her throne, family and legacy in this docudrama featuring reenactments and expert interviews. And these guys are laughing and dancing and drinking, and theyre having a fucking blast. Whats she doing to Wilson? See how much funner it is to say? Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. password | 846 views, 6 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Power Trip: Lil' B and Meatsauce take on Justin Gaard and. This is how the conversation ended. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. You guys are amazing. Whiskey and ice cubes. But White, with a cigar in his hand and a tall glass of tequila always filled on the stool by his side onstage (a tequila brand he sells on his website, btw), remains the real character. He wants to build a wall between the US and Mexico to keep out immigrants, and I wanted to build a net between the US and Canada to keep those fucking geese out of here. Coming Soon, Regal And the way he found out he didnt wet the bed, is he lived in Round Rock, Texas, and I hadnt really seen him in years, and I was doing this radio station and I told that story, and he called the radio station, You fucking pissed on me? Fuck, I dont know. I dont know what Im supposed to tell my fucking relatives. Is she there? Thats why. I just never have. Ron, wake up. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. More for how they dont have to deal with marriage. All rights reserved. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. Another service they offer at this spa is a thing called vaginal rejuvenation. You can get married now if youre gay, anywhere in America, thats fine with me. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and . And the guys over there still think theyre hot. I left everything in my room, and I tell the guy, Listen, I got to go back to the hotel. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 17,559 views Oct 4, 2020 138 Dislike Bad Badger 902 subscribers Mom reacts to the radical. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Powered by Reelgood Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from. A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. Its got 750 yards on it. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Just enough to keep from bumping into shit. Fuck it. Probably a big glass of tea with a big slice of lemon. I dont have that kind of mirror or that kind of friend. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. And Im driving, and I look ahead, and theres a sobriety checkpoint and Im like Fuck Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint. A goose is the only animal on the planet could take a jetliner out of the fucking sky and make it land on the Hudson River. We had spent $100,000 on this little fucking room, and that builder, that motherfucker. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles | 27 subtitles 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. Just laying there dead, cause it died somewhere? One eyehole. Thats all Im saying. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? Im not a 21-year-old, puking cheap tequila through my nose. We have an all-access pass to Las Vegas, which is way better than the no-access pass we had right before that. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Now I live in Beverly Hills in a house my wife and I just built, and I was doing an interview the other day, and this guy asked me, Has it changed you? I dont know how strong they were. Okay, heres mine: Just lunch, and a blowjob. And traditionally during the week, these three comics would go to the mall and those two comics would watch that comic spend money. I wouldnt and Ill tell you why. Hes a more believably real-life incarnation of The Beverly Hillbillies, growing up poor in dusty, rural Texas, only to strike it rich in comedy, and move in with his newest wife into a home theyve built in Beverly Hills. I fucking hate em. So Im all set up. Well, youre gifted. And I told this young guy, I said, Yeah, if I were you, Id go to a gay bar, let somebody fuck me in the ass and make goddamn sure Im not gay, cause it looks like theyre having more fun than anybody to me., It does too, cause we live right next to West Hollywood. Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. Im like, Youre wasting our money on this stuff? But I got used to it after a while. And then the whole experience just started to creep me the fuck out. Im not, and Ill tell you why, because if that piece of shits calibrated wrong, I could be convicted of something I didnt even do. He goes, Then I need you to do a field sobriety test. Im like, Just tell me what to do.. Its very short. Looked like somebody had stretched a rubber band over a gigantic hall of fucking Let me try that again. He always believed in my talent, but not my work ethic. And I was so goddamn mad. Turns out its a solid one. Thats all you need. I dont care one way or another. 20,592, This story has been shared 13,103 times. You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. I dont know if you know. Where is Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming? Your email address will not be published. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. And it really reminded Jeff and I of how much fun we have on stage together and how much we like to play off each other. You look like you just ate a ghost pepper. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Anyway I was a bed-wetter, and I was mortified by it. I saw this on the news the other day. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. I I got nowhere to be. It happened ten years before, but I still had his office number in my phone, and my wife said I was a dick for doing this, but as soon as I found out he died, I called his office, I said, Id like to speak to John Mayhew, please. The lady goes, Im very sorry to tell you, but Mr. Mayhew passed away. I said, Okay, and I called her right back and said, Id like to speak to John Mayhew, please. She goes, I just told you, Mr. Mayhew passed away. I said, I know, I just like hearing you say it. My wifes like, Youre a dick. I said, Bullshit. I just grabbed my big black dick and left. One, while we were building this house, my wife selected these really exotic Japanese toilets. When my dog gets out of the yard, gets in the street, hes like, Oh fuck! I fucking hate geese. Thats why. I hope you guys enjoyed it. And thats about a 45-second task with me at 18 years old. What? Sean L. McCarthy Decider. >> julia, thank you very much for that update. I may or may not be a little drunk. Thats what happened to that plane Sully landed on the Hudson River. And Ill tell you why I didnt have a problem with it, cause I thought the number of people beating off to my image was zero. This is drunk. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? Theyre like, Ooh, look at that one. Which one? She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. Nothing could make this better. Id help you move it out, but Im bleeding. I understand how unnecessary that was. It happened a long time ago, which doesnt fucking matter. Tasted strong. And word of that spreads throughout the criminal community. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Um, Im from a very, very small dusty town in northwest Texas, and I grew up in this little bitty house that was built by my father and my grandfather the year I was born, 1956. We decided to break it up, and Vegas will make you horny if you let it. Ill walk back. Now Ive got questions. But when somebody breaks into our house now, they discover that all of our things have been chewed up and pissed on. Do you have any advice, Mr. White? Now, Id just got off the ugliest phone call Ive ever had with my wife, and it was about that house, and part of that house was gonna be a rehearsal space for her band, and while I was shooting a pilot in Vancouver, it turned into a 24-track recording studio. If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up opens with soundbites from Whites previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed him. 6:01, gets there. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Watch Ron White only on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/in/title/80244900Follow NETFLIX IS A JOKE:Facebook: www.facebook.com/NetflixIsAJokeTwitter: www.twitter.com/NetflixIsAJokeInstagram: www.instagram.com/NetflixIsAJokeSUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/29qBUt7About Netflix:Netflix is the world's leading internet entertainment service with 130 million memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. Im not, and its not fair to me, because Im older, Im not in that great of shape. Thats it. And right before I went on stage, I was in the green room of the main room, and they came over there and they said, Ron, they need you in the OR. I never thought anybody would fucking say that, you know? I wake up the next morning with this shit hangover, and shes already making coffee, and I wake up and she goes, Whats wrong with your hand? My hand is dark orange. And I did these shows in London, and they dont play my stuff on television in London. And if youre all politically correct, dont worry. I told him, Dont you goddamn do it. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Kathleen Madigan: Hunting Bigfoot (2023) | Transcript, Marc Maron: From Bleak to Dark (2023) | Transcript, Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle (2023) | Transcript. I got attacked by a goose when I was a kid. She goes, Listen, Ron. No, this has to fucking happen. Im a joke writer from America. !For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future VideosWeekly Uploads! Im fucking over it. So I decided to spend the night at Joe Paines house, who had been my friend since I was six years old. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up TV Special 2018 1h 3m IMDb RATING 6.6 /10 892 YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 0:24 1 Video 2 Photos Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Trying to make this funny, sell some comedy tickets in a land where you dont play my shit. I didnt make the drinks. You go anywhere in West Hollywood, theres these gigantic gay mens clubs with these huge patios. So I dont have go out and party money. Im in the road! Does a Z-pattern to get across. Now Im not saying Ive never driven drunk, because Ive drank so much in my life, now on the back of my drivers license, theres a list of organs I need. This is, uh This is brilliant. What? JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up What?. Thats why. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. You think you know tender but you really dont. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. There were porno movies everywhere, but the porno movie that caught my eye was called Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets Two. These places are packed to the fucking rafters at 2:30 in the afternoon, seven days a week. Drunk driving. His face is plastered all over Vegas and we are having a fucking blast. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. And I think thats why they marry so many of them.